WHERE DO BROKEN HEARTS GO
By Mena Ekua Feneba
Heartbreak according to studies, is a kind of emotive defeat which straddles between emotional pain and a literal break of the heart. The heart as we know it, is the body’s powerhouse in collaboration with the brain. The singular importance of the heart as a human organ cannot be belaboured: therefore, the Teacher rightly says in Proverbs 4:23: “above all else guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it”.
But do we consciously guard our hearts? Is it even possible to do so? We may answer these questions each for himself or herself, but surely the Writer of the Book of Proverbs intends it as a command, saying we ought to guard it, no matter how frivolous the emotion of love is. Social studies tell us that human beings are gregarious and interact with their social environment, therefore the emotion of love will happen at some point in our lives through our interaction with other people, pets, even material things.
Every human person can have their hearts broken though women experience it the most, perhaps because women are more demonstrative than men. A heartbreak may occur due to a loss of a dear one (family, friend, pet); may also result from changing from known surroundings, or from disappointment and/or betrayal from losing the love of someone you care about or who specially cared about you – when their love wanes over time and distance or other circumstance.
Our focus will be on the third; the heartbreak that results from the kind of love that is simply overwhelming, which you have no control over, which is passionate, meaningful and which causes you to ignore the warning of guarding your heart. When you love someone in this way, you lose the sense of purpose acquired by the relationship between them and yourself once you lose them. You lose the sense of achievement in doing simple things for them that for instance made them smile, laugh and in return made you joyful. Symptoms of this heartbreak vary by individual, also varies in intensity and wavelength. Some may withdraw – keep indoors, feel lost, abandoned, with no appetite, no urgency to work or pray, in fact no urgency for anything, perpetually buried under your cloth or blanket, you can even possibly feel like throwing up! Generally, there is a dullness inside one’s head, haziness, emptiness, and pain – I call it lovesickness- and it feels awful. There are different stages of broken hearts but that is for another day.
However, like the Teacher advocates, these things ought to be guarded against. It can very easily develop into intense sadness or depression and under extreme stress; heartaches will present the risk of heart disease (ouch!). So be careful the next time you get a heartbreak, and do your best to overcome it quickly, get on with your life.
This brings us to the subject of mending a broken heart. How do you pass a needle through the broken threads of your heart and painstakingly mend the pieces together? Here are a few tips: Number one, be patient. It is not the end of the world, yes you loved him and he is gone and you think he doesn’t love you anymore or that he threw your love in your face, splintered your heart against a hard wall. It is okay. Give yourself time, for time heals all wounds. You will find love again (and there is possibility that it will be better, and more fulfilling). Talk to someone you trust about how you feel – allow yourself to scream, shout, cry, brood a little (only a little please). A problem shared is half solved. Number three: do the hobbies you like. I exercise, it really helps; go jogging, kick the air, flail your hands about, and keep in shape! Your ex will regret letting you go the next time he sees you. Then forgive them. It is difficult but do forgive, by letting go of the grudge, you set yourself free. They say love is the answer in every relationship. Someone breaks your heart, but for goodness’ sake do not hate them. In your heart, love them – you may show a little attitude when face to face with them but still love them in your heart. Now finally, God is a mender of all broken things, give it to him, he’ll mend it and you won’t even recognize the place of the patch.
